For nearly 30 years, wearing a Detroit Lions jersey with “Sanders” on the back has been about the safest thing anyone can do in Michigan, with nearly everyone in the state recognizing the greatness of Barry Sanders. (Even if we’re still a little bitter over how he abruptly departed the NFL — that is to say, “Much Too Young.”)
Until last weekend, that is. Country music star Garth Brooks found this out the hard way after posting a shot of himself wearing a gray No. 20 Lions jersey with a “Sanders” nameplate during his performance at Ford Field, drawing flames aplenty from the anti-Bernie Sanders crowd on social media. So much for “Standing Outside the Fire.”
Brooks, of course, wasn’t wearing the Sanders jersey to support presidential candidate Bernie — we think — but rather to pay tribute to ex-Lion Barry. Forget “Friends in Low Places” — in addition to being G.O.A.T.s in their own fields, Brooks and Sanders are both Oklahoma State alums.
Opinion: Garth Brooks, Barry Sanders and the viral spread of ignorance
Still, jersey choices can provoke fiery political responses, especially as Michigan’s primary approaches on March 10, bringing plenty of presidential candidates to the state. So we decided to kick back, have “Two Pina Coladas” and produce a “Shameless” list of the jerseys (one current, one throwback) the eight major Democratic candidates could rock in March around Detroit.
(For fairness’ sake, we’re ordering this list from bottom to top according to fivethirtyeight.com’s weighted average of the national polls as of Friday, available here.)
[Barry Sanders 'asks' Garth Brooks to be his VP after fans mistake him for Bernie Sanders ]
Tulsi Gabbard
2020: The U.S. Representative from Hawaii was the only one of the eight remaining Dems left off the stage of this week’s debate in South Carolina, meaning she’s about as big a longshot as, well, the Lions winning the Super Bowl this season. Still, her Hawaii ties make this an easy jersey choice: No. 51, for linebacker Jahlani Tavai, a Hawaii alum entering his second season with the Lions.
The throwback: We’ll go back to the Hawaii connection and give Gabbard a No. 97 Ikaika Alama-Francis jersey. The defensive end was drafted in 2007 and played 19 games in 2007-08, including 13 games during the Lions’ 0-16 year of ’08.
Tom Steyer
2020: Steyer made billions running Farallon Capital by, as Men’s Journal put it, “taking stomach-turning risks on distressed assets.” Sure sounds like a Lions fan, then. We’ll suit up Steyer in a No. 40 Jarrad Davis jersey; the former first-round pick is the leader of the Lions’ linebackers, who are a distressed asset if we’ve ever seen one.
The throwback: Steyer is also a Yale alum; we’re not gonna overthink this too much —he gets a No. 28 jersey in honor of Hall of Fame safety Yale Lary (who went to Texas A&M, if you were wondering).
Amy Klobuchar
2020: It’s hard to imagine a sitting senator from Minnesota wearing a Lions jersey, especially after the Vikings soundly trounced the Lions twice last season. Still, even she can recognize the brilliance of Marvin Jones’ Oct. 20 performance against the Vikings: No. 11 for the Lions had 10 catches for 93 yards and four touchdowns.
The throwback: Klobuchar’s senior thesis (at Yale, yes, but he’s already taken) was about the politics behind the construction of Minneapolis’ Metrodome. She was, uh, not a fan. Neither was Lions kicker Jason Hanson, who went 3-for-18 in 21 games there while making just 67.6% of his field-goal attempts in the Dome of Doom while wearing No. 4.
Pete Buttigieg
2020: Buttigieg is the mayor of South Bend, Indiana, which is home to Notre Dame. So we can imagine “Mayor Pete” rocking a No. 95 jersey in honor of former Fighting Irish standout Romeo Okwara, now a defensive end for the Lions.
The throwback: Buttigieg is also a Harvard alum — he overlapped there for a couple years with current Lions vice president of player personnel Kyle O'Brien — but, shocker, there haven't been a lot of Harvard alums in the NFL, much less on the Lions. (And Ryan Fitzpatrick's tour around the league hasn't hit the Lions ... yet.) So Buttigieg is going to have to break out a fictional throwback No. 0, in honor of fellow Harvard alum George Plimpton, who spent part of the 1963 preseason playing quarterback in Lions camp before writing his seminal NFL memoir, “Paper Lion.”
Elizabeth Warren
2020: Warren, unsurprisingly for a senator from Massachusetts, appears to be a fervent Patriots fan – as is the entire Lions organization, judging from their personnel moves over the past few years. We can’t give her a Matt Patricia jersey, but how about a fresh No. 80 in honor of two-time Patriots Super Bowl champion Danny Amendola?
The throwback: It’s tempting to give Warren a No. 11 jersey in honor of fellow Houston alum Andre Ware. Then again, Ware’s post-Heisman career at QB for the Lions – four seasons, 14 games, five touchdowns and eight interceptions – is hardly something to honor. Of course, the senator’s campaign slogan is “I got a plan,” so we’ll give her No. 44 in honor of one of the Lions’ greatest planners: Dick LeBeau, who made the Hall of Fame as a cornerback — he’s 10th all-time in interceptions — then spent nearly 30 seasons coming up with defensive schemes for the Steelers, Bengals and Titans.
Mike Bloomberg
2020: Huh, a billionaire throwing money away in a doomed attempt to become nationally relevant? Sounds like a certain ownership family (or two) here in Detroit, come to think of it. And of course, the Lions’ latest big-money spend in free agency is defensive end Trey Flowers, the linebacker who signed a five-year, $90 million deal last offseason and wears No. 90. (And, hey, we’re pretty sure Bloomberg can afford to buy one at the Ford Field store; no waiting for a sale for him.)
The throwback: Did we mention the Lions have been throwing around crazy money for decades? Their first big contract after the start of unrestricted free agency in the NFL was giving quarterback Scott Mitchell, who wore No. 19 in Detroit, a three-year, $11 million deal back in 1994. It doesn’t seem like much now, but the deal for a QB who had started just seven games in his career was called “insane” by a rival executive. Bloomberg is probably hoping he does better in Michigan than Mitchell did — a 27-30 record with a 56.7% completion percentage, 79 touchdowns and 57 interceptions.
Joe Biden
2020: Biden spent years in the Senate, but is essentially campaigning this time around on his eight years as vice president, backing up President Barack Obama. So, let’s get him a No. 10 David Blough jersey, in honor of the guy backing up Matthew Stafford. He might want to hold off on that purchase though, just in case the draft brings a new No. 2 before Stafford at QB.
The throwback: As much as we’d love to see Biden traversing Michigan in a No. 19 Jeff Komlo jersey — Delaware Blue Hens, represent! — we’ve got to note that Biden is old enough to remember when the Lions were actually NFL champions. He had been 15 for a month or so when the Lions knocked off the Browns in the 1957 championship game; he might have identified with the Lions’ big Joe – Joe Schmidt, No. 56, who captained that team and was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1973.
Bernie Sanders
2020: Let’s see … a polarizing figure, known more for his giveaways than his successes, recovering from recent health concerns? You say Bernie, we say Matthew Stafford. Yes, the Lions’ No. 9 is No. 1 in our hearts (most of the time) since becoming the fastest player to reach 40,000 yards passing in NFL history, but he’s also the Lions’ career leader in giveaways — they call them turnovers in the NFL — with 134 interceptions and 68 fumbles. Then again, at least Bernie has won something.
The throwback: Sure, Bernie could wear Barry. But don’t forget, the junior senator from Vermont was around in 1957, too – he turned 16 in early September. That ‘57 team was led on offense by a fast-talking outsider (granted, from Texas, not Vermont) who took big risks for big payoffs. And sure, No. 22 Bobby Layne threw 12 interceptions to six touchdowns that season. But his performance, combined with some stellar relief work by Tobin Rote, paid off big with a title. (Also, along the turnover front, Layne is still No. 1 in Lions history in interceptions (142) and No. 2 in fumbles (48).) We’re not necessarily comparing taking the Lions to a championship to successfully passing universal health care, though; we might actually live to see one of those happen, and it probably doesn’t involve the Lions raising a trophy.
Contact Ryan Ford at rford@freepress.com. Follow him on Twitter @theford.
https://news.google.com/__i/rss/rd/articles/CBMifGh0dHBzOi8vd3d3LmZyZWVwLmNvbS9zdG9yeS9zcG9ydHMvbmZsL2xpb25zLzIwMjAvMDIvMjkvZGV0cm9pdC1saW9ucy1qZXJzZXlzLWRlbW9jcmF0aWMtcHJlc2lkZW50aWFsLWNhbmRpZGF0ZXMvNDkwOTkyMDAwMi_SASRodHRwczovL2FtcC5mcmVlcC5jb20vYW1wLzQ5MDk5MjAwMDI?oc=5
2020-02-29 13:00:00Z
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